All I Need
by Lost Without Who
Summary: Three short chapters summing up the most important aspects or River and Jayne's love life. All done now.
1. Chapter 1

"All I Need"

Disclaimer: I don't own Firefly, I'm not making money off this, deal!

((A "Firefly" Fan fiction that is based on BellaReeve's "Music Box Ballerina" set... because I love her and I love those poems and they freaking NEED to be put into a fan fiction.))

Jayne had never cared for girls like her. Girls with minds always made things strange. They wanted to know how you where feeling and what was going on inside your head. So River was out of the question. Everything about that gorram girl was just wrong. And while she was cute, DAMN cute, she was crazy. And crazy did not float his boat.

But when she danced.

It was like watching a poem. There wasn't even music most of the time. But she would just dance and dance. He began to hear the music. Sometimes it was fast and rough, other times it was slow and peacfull. And sometimes it was a nice mix of the two. But whatever the music was, the steps where beautiful. She danced like an angel and she looked like one, too. She was free and lovely.

Her brother, the stupid doctor, didn't really understand. Even little Kaylee, bless her innocent heart, didn't quite get it. But she stopped Simon from stopping her. And that's all that really mattered: That no one stopped her. He would watch her and not let a singal person know about it. It amazed him the way she danced. He wanted to dance with her, if only she would teach him the stepps.

But that's the only time he loved her, when she danced. Other then that she was just a stupid, crazy little girl that meant nothing to him.

Only.. when he dreamed, she was everywhere.

So he resolved that he wouldn't touch her. He wouldn't look at her and he wouldn't watch her dance. Wouldn't even think about her. Which, of course only drew him to her more. And the more he was drawn, the more he dreamed.

He dreamed about her soft skin and red lips. He dreams of his hands on her hips and dreamed of rocking agenst her as she moaned his name. He dreamed over laying next to her while she slept, running a hand through that perfectly long black hair. And he dreamed of her whipsering his name in her dreams. He dreamed he loved her.

So he stayed away. The Captain wouldn't understand. Simon wouldn't understand. No one would understand. So he kept the hell away from her. No lookin', and therefor, no wanting... right? Right!

So that's where he stood that night when he while he was sitting in the galley. He had an apple and was biting into it happily. He hadn't been in any trouble all day and he was more then happy to stay out of it. After Arieal, Mal had been watching him like a hawk and he was glad not to be involved in anything. Then she had to go and stroll in.

He knew she was there before he even saw her. He could feel her stroll into the room like a ghost.He didn't look at her. Didn't even act like he knew she was there. He just went on eating his apple, not looking at her.

And then he felt soft butterfly hands on his should that slowly moved down his chest. At once he stood up, almost knocking over the table. "What in the gorram hell are you doing, girl!" He snapped, moving away.

She tilted her head to one side. She looked innocent, yet deadly. "Touching the stars. Making the voices fade." She moved closer to him, and he backed away. "Can't listen to them when the bear is around. Makes the others die away. Keeps them away with his claws."

"You calling me a bear?" He hissed, still backing away. He didn't trust this girl. She'd sliced him open once and no one knew for sure that she wouldn't do it again. He had to keep his distance.

She smiled that evil little smile that gave him shivers. "Bear's don't always growle. In their sleep they are just little kittens." She was close to him without him even noticing. She was sloe close her could feel her breathing. "He purrs the girls name. Doesn't think she hears. She does."

Jayne frowned. "I don't know what your talking about, girl." But he did. She'd heard him in his sleep, calling her name. His dreams had caught up to him. "You need to leave now. Girl? What are you--"

And then she was kissing him. Her lips where prefect, just like had dreamed. But it's wrong when it ain't a dream. He pushes her away. "River--" he starts but then she's touching his chest and face. "River..." He's never said her name once, let alone twice. "It's wrong."

She smiled. "Doesn't matter. Wrongs make right, thins upside down." She tugged at his shirt. "need you." And she's kissing him again. And he's letting her. And he needs this so bad. Needs her. She's all he ever needed.

He pulls her close and is kissing her softly, like he never kisses. She's making sounds that is making it hard for him to keep his pants on. And just as he thinks that that might be where this is heading, he hears cursing from behind him.

Puling away from the little crazy girl quickly, Jayne turns to see Mal and Zoe. And both of them are looking damn pissed. River moves away. "The voices are back..." Jayne sighs. Aint' no way this is going to end well.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N; Ok, ok! Here you guys go! Another chapter.. or two.. anyway, I'm soo glad you all liked it so much I hope this one doesn't upset you. Love you!

It took about three seconds for mal to pry Jayne away from River and throw him agenst the wall. River screamed and backed away as Zoe ran to her side and held her.

"What in the _di yu_ where you thinking, Jayne!" Mal hissed. "She's an wu gu _nu hai_ for crying out load!" River lets out a smaller cry just as Simon, Kaylee and Wash come in.

"River? _Mei Mei, _what's the matter?" Simon held River and Zoe backed off. Simon turned to Jayne. "What did you do to her?"

"I didn't do nothin'!" Jayne cried out only to have Mal push him further into the wall. "_Gorram_ it, Mal! She came on to me!"

"Now why am I have a hard time buying that _fu zai a pi hua_?" Mal hissed. He turned to the others. "I found Jayne in here practically pinning River to the ground and taking here right here!"

"What!" Simon called and glared daggers at Jayne. "How dare you! She's a little kid!"

"She ain't!" Jayne said, a little surprised in himself. "She's not fourteen any more, _yao ye tong_! She's old enough to know how to take care of herself!"

"That's an interesting reason for taking advatage of her!" Simon hissed.

"I didn't! I keep on telling you! She came on to me! She kissed me, first!"

"_Shou huan zhe_!" Simon yelled and started to come at Jayne. But River was in front of him before he even knew it.

"Stop it, Simon!" She called, and everyone in the room turned and looked at her, silence falling over all of them. "Jayne is telling the truth. I came on to him. He had nothing to do with it."

"_Mei Mei_, you don't have to defend him. He's an _lu zi_ who did something you didn't want done to you."

"No his not! I wanted him! He didn't want me! But he could see me, Simon. He saw the real me. He saw me dancing..." She looked at Jayne who had his eyes fixed on her. She gave him a small smile. "Didn't know she could dance like that. He stopped seeing the _fa kuang_ girl like everyone else did. He saw me."

Jayne gave her a very small smile as Mal's grip began to become losser. "And I saw him," River went on, never taking her deep eyes off Jayne. "I saw what he really was even before he did. I saw the kitten in the lion. The cub in the big bear." She now turned to Simon. "And I love him, Simon. I'm in love with him!"

"_A ya he_!" Jayne, Mal, Simon, Wash, Kaylee, and Zoe all said at the same time.

"You mean that, _bao bei_?" Jayne whispered, causing everyone to look at him with shocked eyes. "You really mean what you just said to all us? You weren't just tryin' 't keep me outta trouble?"

She smiled at him. "Yes, _quin pin_. I mean it with everything I am." She turned to Mal. "And so if you kick him off this ship, then you'll have to kick me off, too. Because I won't stand it here without him." She stopped, as if thinking of what to say next. "He makes the nightmares go away." She said softly.

What followed was a long and strange silence. Finally, Mal let Jayne go. "Fine." He said. "But I find you two in the middle of a make-out session one more time and both of you are gone. _liao jie_?" With that he turned and left.

Zoe and Wash followed him. Kaylee asked River if she was sure she was ok, before leaving. Then River jumped back into Jayne's arms and hugged him. Jayne hugged her back and kissed the top of her head.

"My little _bao bei_." Jayne said, laughing. "You just saved my life. I'm bettin' this means I owe ya?"

"_Gorram_ right you do," River said laughing. He growled and kissed her, only to hear a throat clear from the far right. THey pulled apart and where met with Simon's anger face. "Simon.." River said.

"Don't, River. I understand." Simon said threw gritted teeth. "I'm just give Jayne a warning." He moved closer to Jayne. "You hurt her, and you are going to wish you'd never been born. Got it?"

"Load and clear, Doc." Jayne said, smirking. "Not that you should worry about it. Ain't no way I'm hurting this _zuo pin_. I'd never forgive myself."

River smiled and kissed him again. Simon sighed and left the room. It looked as if his little sister had grown up at last.

"So, how do I repay you?" Jayne asked when their kiss ended.

"You can watch me dance." She said grinning and led him down the hall towared his bunk.

Later that night, Mal was talking with Zoe in the hall and could hear Jayne's grunts and River's sighs and giggle's coming from Jayne's bunk. Mal cringed. "I just don't understand what she see's in him." He said, shacking his head. "I mean, it's Jayne!"

"Love ain't explainable, Sir." Zoe said, and smiled.

_di yu -_ Hell

_wu gu nu hai_ - Innocent

_Mei Mei _- Little Sister

_Gorram_ - Damn

_fu zai a pi hua -_ Load of Bullshit

_yao ye tong - _Pretty Boy

_Shou huan zhe _- Liar

_Lu Zi_ - Asshole

_fa kuang _-Crazy

_A ya he _- Oh my goodness

_bao bei _- Darling (lit. Treasured Object)

_quin pin _- Dear Lover

_liao jie _- Understand

_zuo pin _- Work of Art


	3. Chapter 3

Title: All I Need Is You

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Do I even look like I own Firefly or this song? No! Thanks you to IAmAngelOfMusic who gave me the idea to do the fic, and thank you to Crissy who came up with the song to go with it.

YOU SHOULD KNOW: This IS part of my other stories but is written as if "Only One" had happened a bit differently. Enjoy!

I can't run anymore,  
I fall before you,  
Here I am,  
I have nothing left,  
Though I've tried to forget,  
You're all that I am,   
Take me home,  
I'm through fighting it,

Dead.The word stung his eyes even as Simon and Kaylee broke down into tears. No. No, she couldn't be. Not her. She was to strong... He wasn't strong without her. "No!" He picked up a box, the cargo they had picked up on this gorram rock, and threw it crashing to the other side of the cargo bay. He fell onto his knees and began to shack with fright. "No."

"Jayne," Mal said softly. "I'm sorry. We were to late." There was a long pause and Jayne's shacking was even worse. "The people who attacked her were dead too, when we found her."

Jayne gave a small harsh laugh. "That's my girl... That's my girl."

The Furnal was held by Book. They went to Jayne's home planet and baried her there. Simon approved saying it was where she had always wanted to visit with Jayne someday.

Jayne held himself up through the whole thing. Even when Kaylee broke down, he still swallowed hard and forced himself not to cry. "Not good for a man like Jayne to keep his feelin's bottled up," Zoe said that night in the kitchen with Wash and Mal.

"Jaynes a strong guy," Mal said. "He'll get over it. He'll be back to normal in no time."

What Mal didn't know was that Jayne was in his bunk face down on the floor. He was sobbing like a small child. "River!" He cried. "River, please! I don't have anything left inside me! I can't hold myself together without you. I need you. You are all I have!"

He felt like she was there for a breif moment, then she driffented away and Jayne cried harder, missing her liked the moon misses the sun.

And he tried so hard to forget about her, but he couldn't. She was everything. She was home. She was what made him whole. And she was dead, never to dance again.

Broken,   
Lifeless,  
I give up,  
You're my only strength,  
Without you,  
I can't go on,  
Anymore,  
Ever again.  
My only hope,   
(All the times I've tried)  
My only peace,  
(To walk away from you)  
My only joy,  
My only strength,  
(I fall into your abounding grace)  
My only power,  
My only life,  
(And love is where I am)  
My only love.

Simon was disgusted about the amount of Whores Jayne picked up over the next several mounths. He felt like River must be turning over in her grave. Kaylee said the same thing. Mal shrugged and said, "Told ya he'd get back to normal." Wash didn't say anything. Zoe, Inara, and Book gave each other meaningfull glances. They knew why he was doing it, and thought the others stupid for not seeing it. But they didn't say a word.

Jayne paid for hooker after hooker. but never got around to sleeping with a one of them. He'd take them to his bunk and end up just talking to them. They were all so sorry for him they almost always gave him his money back. They comforted him trying to sooth his shattered heart.

"But she was everything." He whispered to one tiny blonde girl six mounths after River's death. "My blood, my life, my strenght...everything in me."

"I know," The girl said. "but sometimes you just have to let go of the things you love."

"But... I don't want to give her up..."

I can't run anymore,  
I give myself to you,  
I'm sorry,  
I'm sorry,  
In all my bitterness,  
I ignored,  
All that's real and true,  
All I need is you,

He built a shrin to her in his bunk. It was compacted of all her favorite cloaths, his favorite cloaths on her, perfume that reminded him of her, and other little things that brought back her memory. To top it all off, he had a wanted poster of her in the middle.

Every night he'd stay up looking at it. And he'd tell her he was sorry. Sorry for not being there to save her. Sorry she had died and not him. Sorry he hadn't told her as much as he should of that he loved her. So sorry for not being with her, and not being able to forget her either. Simply sorry.

When night falls on me,  
I'll not close my eyes,  
I'm too alive,  
And you're too strong,  
I can't lie anymore,  
I fall down before you,  
I'm sorry,  
I'm sorry.

Being alive became so much harder for Jayne. A year went by and Jayne's work began to slip. He wasn't sleeping well and eating less. Spending more time in his bunk with the shrin that Kaylee had found one day. EVeryone was worried about him.

Simon made him take some sleeping pills and it back fired on him. Jayne became adicted to the stuff. In his dreams she was always there. Alive and dancing and he could be with her when he slept. He almost ODed one night and Simon had to make sure he went cold turcky.

That didn't stop Jayne from sleeping more, however. He slept more then he had in his life and he knew it wasn't healthy. But living hurt and dying fixed nothing. So he slept and dreamed of her.

Constantly ignoring,  
The pain consuming me,  
But this time it's cut too deep,  
I'll never stray again.

Soon he had to make himself stop sleeping. To many jobs coming in, not enough time to escap into a dream world. Besides, she had stopped visting him, and that was what hurt the most.

so he found new ways to dissolve the pain. Pain killers worked untill Simon cut off his suplie of that, too. He talked more at meals, tried to work harder on the jobs. Two years to the day, and he was doing better in everyone else eyes. No one knew the things he did in secret to stop her memory from slipping in.

A jagged knife on the was his sanity. Each knew slice across his arm was for her, her memory that consumed him like darkness. He couldn't escape and so he cut, deeper and deeper untill his arm was a painting, a mural of his sadness.

But even as he did that, he felt her disaproval. He dreamed about her one night. She yelled at him for hurting himself and he had promised never to do it again. That morning he smashed the knife into pieces. "Never again, boa bei."

My only hope,  
(All the times I've tried)  
My only peace,  
(To walk away from you)  
My only joy,  
My only strength,  
(I fall into your abounding grace)  
My only power,  
My only life,  
(And love is where I am)  
My only love,

She was his only. For the rest of his life he never looked at another woman. Four years later, he was better. The shrin had been thrown out and he really was back to normal. But he never looked at other woman.

Ten years later, he died of a bullet wound through the heart. He was burried next to River, per Kaylee's request. And he was with his only one again. And he never would leave her again. Eternity of love, even in their death.

The End.


End file.
